Several years ago, the Lord laid on my mind a story in which a Christian young man experiencing same sex attraction desires with all his heart to break free of the lifestyle. Writing the story, Ryan’s Father, was a challenge but also a blessing. Now, two years later, I ask myself. Was the story based in reality? Could others like Ryan actually find freedom, or was my story merely wishful thinking?
As I was praying for homosexual Christian believers recently, several truths from the Bible made impact with my spirit.
A person desiring freedom must first ask himself, “Am I a Christian? Have I trusted Jesus to save me from this world order and have I asked Him into my life as Savior?” Unless a person has the power of God in his life, there is no hope.
The next step is to come to terms with the fact that homosexuality is a sin. Romans 1:26-27 says “God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.” Leviticus 18:22 is plain. “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman. That is detestable.” There are many other scriptures in the Bible. Do a Google search to see them all. Though many try to twist the scriptures, the message is plain. God doesn’t excuse homosexuality. It is a sin.
But the book of Romans brings good news. Romans 6:6 says “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” When a person becomes born again, they are a new creature in Christ. Our old self is dead and crucified with Christ. We are no longer slaves of sin. That means that a homosexual is free and not compelled to participate in the behavior.
That’s easy to say, but how do we do this, especially when confronted with temptation? If a person is an alcoholic, it would be unwise to hang out in bars. Or if someone suffers from gluttony, he wouldn’t want to frequent bakeries or ice cream shops. Turn away from the places and people that evoke the desire to sin. Remove yourself from homosexual friends, gay bars, and literature that says it’s okay to practice homosexuality. You’ve made up your mind to be set free, so walk away.
In the place of these things, participate in church activities, go on mission’s trips, join a prayer group, serve at a homeless shelter. Ask God to show you how best to serve Him.
The bottom line is not whether you are a homosexual or a heterosexual. The question is how deep is your relationship with God. How much of yourself have you handed over to the Lord? Settle these issues first. Give yourself over to Him one hundred percent. Don’t hold back even an iota of yourself. Seek Him first and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Maybe you’ve done all these things and the desires are still there, no matter how hard you try. Well, there’s the problem. Stop trying. Those deeply set feelings are not going to let go easily. You can’t change by trying hard. You’ll only becomes discouraged and exhausted. So instead of striving to change your thinking, throw yourself on God’s mercy and tell Him you can’t do this. If He wants your thinking to change, He’ll have to do it for you. And remind Him that what you seek is in line with His stated will in the Bible.
Isaiah 40: 30-31 brings us an amazing promise. “Even youths grown tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” When you completely give your life over to the Lord and trust Him, He is faithful to His promises.
Remember what His word says in Ephesians 3: 20-21. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.”
Ask the Holy Spirit to control your mind. Don’t become discouraged when you don’t see changes right away. Remember: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake. I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, the I am strong.” 11 Corinthians 12: 9-10.
So, the answers to my questions are, yes, the message found in the fictional story Ryan’s Father is grounded in reality. The principles in my story are valid today. Do you trust the Creator of all the heavens and the earth? God has a glorious future for you. Don’t settle for a lie.